Jacob shelton’s writing portfolio

Try and contain your professional jealousy as you gaze upon this Squarespace page featuring articles that I’ve written for various websites. If you’d like to see more of my work feel free to contact me.

18 Reasons Predator Is Objectively The Finest Action Film Ever Made

Everyone knows Predator is one of the best action movies ever committed to film, but why? How is something so simple also the perfect encapsulation of what an action film should be? Is the muscle bro handshakes? The mud-slathered Austrians insulting apex predator aliens? Or is there some kind of intrinsic magic that infects the audience each time the opening credits begin against a lovingly filmed helicopter sequence?

Highlander II: What Happened There?

1991's Highlander II should be a fun movie. Highlander (the original film in the "bros with swords swording each other" genre) is not a good film. It's incredibly stupid, and very fun, but it's not good. 

Five Scenes In Dawson’s Creek That Were Almost Ruined Because A Mummy Walked On Set And Tried To Wrap People Up In Mummy Tape

Has there ever been a television series that captured what it was like to come of age while living next to mummy infested waters the way Dawson’s Creek did? Not in my book. The Creek filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina, an area famously rotten with mummies. And while the picturesque landscapes helped cement the idea of the idyllic town of Dawson’s Creek, it was almost all for not because of those dang mummies.